They Have Minds of Their Own

Golden Retrievers have the unique ability to simultaneously convince you that you are their "Lord and Master", while also selectively responding to your instructions.

Last weekend, our family was settling into the L-shaped couch in the TV room to watch the slide show of my parents' recent adventure abroad.  Snacks were placed on the coffee table. 

Alpha dog, that would be my brother-in-law Kevin, directed "Annie" ( the heretofore mentioned semi-obedient dog) to the location on the floor that he had selected for her in front of the bookshelf (safely away from the food on the coffee table). 

Annie, in a very clever bait and switch maneuver, hung her head in submission as if a 5 pound weight were dangling from her dog tags.  She then headed in the opposite direction.  

She continued at an achingly guilty pace to her preferred spot, whilst pointedly ignoring Kevin's calls.  Her posture seemingly compliant and contrite, but the end result in support of her agenda.

Her body language was so clear to me that I could almost hear her inner thoughts.  They were something on the order of  - "I'm being really submissive.... but, I'm so not doing what you are asking me.... and I'm really  hoping I don't get a spanking and the women intervene for me". 

She wedged herself between the couch and coffee table atop the feet of the female members of the "pack" (i.e. safe haven), and reclined in seeming hibernation. 

Alpha dog chose to ignore this insubordination for the sake of decorum - or, perhaps, not to call attention to the breakdown in the chain of command. 

I  refrained from making any eye contact with said animal or laughing or offering any other type of benign encouragement.  I've been here before, the port in the storm, and the familiar refrain from my Mother has always been a sharp "Shhhhhhh, don't get the animal in trouble!"  Huh?  How did I become the culpable co-conspirator?  Well, I sort of am.  Way to go "Annie"!  You are the rebel I always wanted to be, but didn't have the finesse to pull off!